Case Mods in Progress
Wednesday, March 16, 2005, 09:24 - Personal
These guys have some serious time on their hands. It's fun to see how their projects slowly evolve.

It's in Dutch, but click on the links at the bottom and look at all those pictures.

Slang Dictionary
Sunday, March 13, 2005, 02:32 - Humor
AEROPLANE BLONDE - One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
AUSSIE KISS - Similar to a French kiss, but given down under.
BADLY PACKED KEBAB - A vulgar (but still excellent) term for the female genitalia.
BEAVER LEAVER - A homosexual.
BREAKING THE SEAL - Your first piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
BRITNEY SPEARS - Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britneys please, Doreen".
BRUCE LEE - Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).
DOUBLE BASS - A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's Tongue with the other. The position is similar to that used when playing a double bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.
DRINK-LINK - A modern term for a cash point machine (ATM). Named so because it is common to visit one before going out on the booze.
ETCH-A-SKETCH - Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her nipples simultaneously.
FRIGMAROLE - Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.
F@CKSH1TF@CKSH1TF@CKSH1T - The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.
GOING FOR A McSh1t - Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a McSh1t With Lies.
GREYHOUND - A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
HAND-TO-GLAND COMBAT - A vigorous masturbation session.
JOHNNY-NO-STARS - A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staffs at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
MILLENIUM DOMES - The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually F@ck-all worth seeing.
MONKEY BATH - A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".
MUMBLER - An attractive girl in tight shorts or jeans, etc. i.e. you can see the lips moving but can't quite make out what they're saying.
MYSTERY BUS - The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI - The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
NBR (No Beers Required) - Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The opposite of a 10-Pinter.
NELSON MANDELA - Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).
ONE IN THE DEPARTURE LOUNGE - The need to defecate imminently.
PEARL HARBOUR - Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbour out there!" Meaning - there's a nasty 'nip in the air.
PICASSO @rse - A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.
RAGMAN'S COAT - Untidy and unkempt pubic hair e.g. "That mumbler looks quite fit but I bet she's got a kebab like a ragman's coat!"
RELEASE A CHOCOLATE HOSTAGE - To defecate e.g. " I've got one in the departure lounge, so I'm just nipping out to release a chocolate hostage".
SALAD DODGER - An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
SPERM WAIL - A verbal outburst during the male orgasm.
STARFISH TROOPER or @rseTRONAUT - A homosexual.
SWAMP-DONKEY - A deeply unattractive woman.
TART FUEL or BITCH PISS - Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.
TEN-Pinter - Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.
TITANIC - A lady who goes down first time out.
TODGER DODGER - A lesbian.
TWO-BAGGER or DOUBLE BAGGER - Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with (1 to cover their head, and 1 to cover yours, in case their bag falls off).
UP ON BLOCKS - Menstruating i.e. out of action, a bit like a car in a garage.e.g. Don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on blocks".
VAGINA DECLINER - A homosexual.
WALLACE AND GROMIT - Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'.
W*NK SEANCE - During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that your dead relatives are watching you with disgust.
WYNONA RYDER - Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. e.g. "Pint of Wynona, half a Nelson and a bottle of tart fuel please Doreen".
X-PILES - Unwanted visitors from Uranus.

Software Patents (cont.)
Wednesday, March 2, 2005, 08:24 - The News

The Register reports that the European Commission is refusing to restart the legislative progress of the controversial European software patent directive.

In January, the Parliament - which unlike the Commission is elected, rather than appointed - voted to scrap the Commission's proposed Computer Implemented Inventions Directive (CIID).

But those silly bastards have turned this item into a game of proving who in the end has the most power.
That's one way to get the people to dislike 'Europe' even further than they already do....

Rest In Peace, Penguin
Tuesday, March 1, 2005, 11:07 - Personal
Tonight, after about six years of good service, there finally came an end to the life of my oldest server, Penguin. Penguin was a Celeron 333 machine with 160MB memory running (off course) Linux.

He has hardly ever had any physical issues, apart from some noisy fans in the power supply. But either swapping the entire PSU or just the PSU fan helped alleviate the problems. I even once replaced the PSU fan while the machine was still running to preserve a record uptime.... DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME YOURSELF. Some parts of the PSU carry high voltages and are therefore dangerous. At the time I thought I knew what I was doing.

Over the last few months most of the tasks of Penguin have been moved to my new linux server Raven (which has been online for a year now; my migration plan slipped a little...). But until tonight two main applications where still running at Penguin: my personal web portal and my personal stock portfolio web tool. I finally have moved both applications to Raven as well, as I can no longer wait for having time to do the modifications to both tools that I have in mind for so long now.

So at 22:20 today I finally pulled the switch for the last time, but not after having said a few thank you words.... It has been a great server.

As soon as I hit the switch I realised what deep down I always had known: Penguin was a very loud server!! He left a deafening silence for a few minutes. But now I can hear the next noisiest machine in the room: my old desktop Eagle. Thankfully I am migrating that one to my new desktop Condor which indeed is very very quiet! Just that friggin' high speed VGA fan is bugging me!

Once I am fully working on my new desktop, the old one will become a server and will be moved to my server room (yes you read that right...). Then my room will be really quiet. Finally!

And for those of you that are counting: I didn't even mention my fifth computer. Na na na na na.
No wonder I'm still single.

Small parking footprint
Thursday, February 24, 2005, 04:52 - Humor
This way you even need less space to park your Smart...

IT Party next Friday
Wednesday, February 23, 2005, 08:11 - Humor
Like every year at the end of February, we, at the Information Technology - (IT) department, are celebrating the new year and we organise the most crazy party in the city.

Leave all your taboos at home and come join us in the craziest, funkiest, out-of-limits party of the year.

Take your time to prepare youself for the wild, bombastic night that will free your deepest instincts.

We do it IT-style, so get in the mood!

We are attaching a picture of last year's party, so you get an idea of what you should be expecting...

Nicolas Erd

German zoo tempts gay penguins to go straight
Thursday, February 10, 2005, 10:29 - Humor, The News
A German zoo in Bremen is trying to get their male penguins to go straight again. They didn't know that they only had male penguins. Several couples have formed by now and one couple even adopted a stone as an egg. The zoo now has imported female penguins from Sweden in an attempt to straigthen the gay penguins up....

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