Slang Dictionary
Sunday, March 13, 2005, 02:32 - Humor
AEROPLANE BLONDE - One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
AUSSIE KISS - Similar to a French kiss, but given down under.
BADLY PACKED KEBAB - A vulgar (but still excellent) term for the female genitalia.
BEAVER LEAVER - A homosexual.
BREAKING THE SEAL - Your first piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
BRITNEY SPEARS - Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britneys please, Doreen".
BRUCE LEE - Erect nipple (as in, a hard Nip).
DOUBLE BASS - A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's Tongue with the other. The position is similar to that used when playing a double bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.
DRINK-LINK - A modern term for a cash point machine (ATM). Named so because it is common to visit one before going out on the booze.
ETCH-A-SKETCH - Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her nipples simultaneously.
FRIGMAROLE - Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.
F@CKSH1TF@CKSH1TF@CKSH1T - The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.
GOING FOR A McSh1t - Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a McSh1t With Lies.
GREYHOUND - A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
HAND-TO-GLAND COMBAT - A vigorous masturbation session.
JOHNNY-NO-STARS - A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staffs at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.
MILLENIUM DOMES - The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually F@ck-all worth seeing.
MONKEY BATH - A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".
MUMBLER - An attractive girl in tight shorts or jeans, etc. i.e. you can see the lips moving but can't quite make out what they're saying.
MYSTERY BUS - The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI - The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
NBR (No Beers Required) - Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The opposite of a 10-Pinter.
NELSON MANDELA - Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).
ONE IN THE DEPARTURE LOUNGE - The need to defecate imminently.
PEARL HARBOUR - Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbour out there!" Meaning - there's a nasty 'nip in the air.
PICASSO @rse - A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.
RAGMAN'S COAT - Untidy and unkempt pubic hair e.g. "That mumbler looks quite fit but I bet she's got a kebab like a ragman's coat!"
RELEASE A CHOCOLATE HOSTAGE - To defecate e.g. " I've got one in the departure lounge, so I'm just nipping out to release a chocolate hostage".
SALAD DODGER - An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
SPERM WAIL - A verbal outburst during the male orgasm.
STARFISH TROOPER or @rseTRONAUT - A homosexual.
SWAMP-DONKEY - A deeply unattractive woman.
TART FUEL or BITCH PISS - Bottled Alcopops, e.g. Hooch, regularly consumed by young women.
TEN-Pinter - Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.
TITANIC - A lady who goes down first time out.
TODGER DODGER - A lesbian.
TWO-BAGGER or DOUBLE BAGGER - Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with (1 to cover their head, and 1 to cover yours, in case their bag falls off).
UP ON BLOCKS - Menstruating i.e. out of action, a bit like a car in a garage.e.g. Don't think I'll be in luck tonight lads, the missus is up on blocks".
VAGINA DECLINER - A homosexual.
WALLACE AND GROMIT - Rhyming Slang for 'vomit'.
W*NK SEANCE - During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that your dead relatives are watching you with disgust.
WYNONA RYDER - Rhyming Slang for 'cider'. e.g. "Pint of Wynona, half a Nelson and a bottle of tart fuel please Doreen".
X-PILES - Unwanted visitors from Uranus.

Small parking footprint
Thursday, February 24, 2005, 04:52 - Humor
This way you even need less space to park your Smart...

IT Party next Friday
Wednesday, February 23, 2005, 08:11 - Humor
Like every year at the end of February, we, at the Information Technology - (IT) department, are celebrating the new year and we organise the most crazy party in the city.

Leave all your taboos at home and come join us in the craziest, funkiest, out-of-limits party of the year.

Take your time to prepare youself for the wild, bombastic night that will free your deepest instincts.

We do it IT-style, so get in the mood!

We are attaching a picture of last year's party, so you get an idea of what you should be expecting...

Nicolas Erd

German zoo tempts gay penguins to go straight
Thursday, February 10, 2005, 10:29 - Humor, The News
A German zoo in Bremen is trying to get their male penguins to go straight again. They didn't know that they only had male penguins. Several couples have formed by now and one couple even adopted a stone as an egg. The zoo now has imported female penguins from Sweden in an attempt to straigthen the gay penguins up....

Female Brain
Thursday, February 3, 2005, 08:37 - Humor

Male Brain
Wednesday, February 2, 2005, 11:18 - Humor

Dinner talk...
Wednesday, January 26, 2005, 08:44 - Humor

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